Stopping the Bonn fire
by Bureaucratic Bullet
Summary: Megaman Legends at it's best, baby! I know the Tron's been kidnapped thing has been done... to death... but I wrote this before I knew, I swear! . you belive me don't you? Funny read, it's true!


30

Alright Everybody, this is a Megaman Legends Fanfic I've been sitting on for a while now. I like it, but it's not quite what I'd call golden yet. Truth be told the first part is a little soppy/sloppy/oh brother/yeah right, if you know what I mean, so if I ever decided to continue my endeavors on this labor of love I hope nobody like it too much. The rest of it should be fine, assuming you don't hate MML in the first place. But if you did then you would have stopped reading by now… right?

Stopping the Bonne fire.

Or

The Diabolical Glyde

By, Bureaucratic Model 1-3

Chapter 1: Glyde has Tron

She had a dull headache that started somewhere behind the eyes and ended in a long moan. She opened her eyes and looked around her. It was cell of some sort; the walls were dark and near; she couldn't see a door. She pushed herself off the bed only to realize it was a futon. Dazed and confused she picked herself up and tried to think. A light bust on, just above her head, and a section of the wall gave way. A mechanical duck marched into the room holding a mace, followed by Glyde, and, in turn, another mace bearing waterfowl.

"Awake already?" he said with all the charm a gentleman could ever muster. "I was beginning to think I had been a little too rough back there."

Slowly it came back to her. They were trying to break into a ruin on Kattalox Island when a herd of strange looking ducks started flying around, blowing up all over the place and making chaos run like water in the spring. In the heat of battle something hit her over the head and that was the end of that. She reached up to feel a bandage attached to the firm lump. "Where's Teasel?" she asked, naturally assuming that this time he had gotten them both.

"A good question. Where's Teasel!" he shouted.

"Headed south-southwest toward the Sulfur Bottom," a birdbot returned over an intercom.

She suddenly felt woozy and sat, or fell as it were, back on to the futon. Glyde, who smiled for half a second, resumed his uncaring demeanor. She looked at him, thinking more about her throbbing head than anything. "Where am I?"

"Another good question." He sucked in his breath to shout once more, but only because he knew this time she would cover her ears. Loud noises and headaches don't mix too well. He began, with a loud smirk but a quiet tone: "We're in the headquarters to one of my superficial corporations. You can't be an illegal arms dealer without two or three at least. Superia is its name, ironically enough, and while it isn't world renowned I'm sure you've heard of it if you've ever been to Port Grace."

She gasped. "You mean we're in the Superia Tower? You own the Superia Tower?"

He tried not to look pleased with himself. "Mr. Loath owns the Superia Tower, and quite frankly that means me. No doubt you know why you're here while your brother is flying as fast as he can to find your friends and get you back. I know this is a little low brow, but would you mind coming with us long enough to make a demand or two."

She honestly didn't feel up to it, but unfortunately, as civil as Glyde was, she knew he wasn't really asking at all. She tried to lie back down, but Glyde just kneeled down, putting one arm under her back and one arm under her legs, and picked her up. She was wide eyed and blushing, half expecting him to carry her wherever he was taking her, but he just set her back down on her feet, snatched her wrist and started to pace out of the room, the armed ducks not far behind. She didn't wonder why he paced so fast, for half a second she thought she saw him blushing, and while part of her knew she was imagining it, she knew he was walking clearly ahead so she couldn't see his face.

He led her through dimly lit, but carpeted, hallways, and soon they came to a door just yards away from where she had lain unconscious. There were a few cameras set on tripods; a desk with a computer set up, and half the room was unlike the rest of the motif. It was walled with old, well-rounded, and gray, stone bricks. There were pieces of straw on the fabricated dirt floor, and a few chains hung on one side, the side with the cameras pointed at it. A few mechanical ducks were messing with the equipment, until Glyde came in, when they lined up and saluted.

"String her up!" he ordered the ducks, releasing her into the room. They waddled over to the girl, tried to grab her arms and attach her to the wall, but the chains were about seven feet high, and two of them on top of each other were only five. Even though they knew there was no point to it, they tried again and again. The long and short of it was that after ten minutes of messing around they finally gave up. Glyde would have interceded earlier, and angrily, but those little ducks just looked so ridiculous falling all over themselves, trying to stack three ducks high, when two was barely manageable, and Tron trying almost to help them, but not really wanting to be chained to a cold stonewall, found herself caught in a moral dilemma. The reason Glyde hadn't wanted to do it in the first place was because he didn't want to get a too touchy/feely with her, and while she was good looking, she was his captive, if only in some sense of the word. He grabbed her wrist once more and held her hand high above her, attaching it to a chain cuff, and again with the other hand. She didn't notice this time, but he was holding his breath as he walked away (thanking the heavens that she wasn't any better endowed, thinking about cold showers and baseball, reciting that she was only seventeen).

"Are the cameras on?" he demanded.

"Yes, kwa-kwa-kwa-kwa, but the least we could find is morphine."

"Morphine! I want to numb her face, not stone her!"

"Kwa-kwa-kwa-kwa-kwa!" the birdbot chanted angrily.

Glyde turned and looked her over. From a distance she was not so appealing, mainly because she hadn't been cleaned off, and, little did she know, the birdbots had dragged her back to their ship through Clozer woods rather than carry her. She was a mess with grass stains and dirt everywhere, not to mention a large hole on the right leg of her getup. The white skin was a stark contrast to the dark outfit, but it lacked something. Glyde walked near again, picking up a small cup with a brush in it. He powdered her the white spot and it became dirty and wretched. Looking her over again, and taking off the bandage on her head, he gave the cup to one birdbot, and picked up covered needle from another. He took the top off and she screamed.

"Did you catch that?" he shouted to a duck now sitting at the computer.

"Kwa-kwa," he muttered nodding.

He took the needle and started pointing it at certain areas on her face. She moved all over the place, trying to avoid the inevitable, and he was trying to pick a spot without actually poking the thing through her cheek. "Its only morphine, don't be such a baby," he whispered.

"You take some then," she hissed, "its not the drug so much as the shot."

He looked at the point. He wasn't all that comfortable around needles himself, but he couldn't see any easier way. Or did he. "Hmmm…" he muttered to himself. "All right I'll try this, but if it doesn't work then you'll regret it." He winked at the duck on the computer and two little red lights intertwined with the cameras started to glow. He held out his free hand and slowly pulled it through the air, put it on her face and pushed it away all in a circular motion. When he was through he walked over to the computer, setting down the needle and looked indifferently at the screen. "Slow it down a little, I don't want to look computer generated. That's perfect, but we need sound. Get this," he said, walking over to one of the bird bots and slapping it upside the head, making a very impressive smack sound.

"KWA-KWA-KWA! I'll eat you like krill!"

"Sure you will." Watching the recording once more he muttered to himself. Then he pulled a white handkerchief out of his shirt and tied her mouth shut. "All right, lets do this, and Christmas bonuses all around if we get it right on the first try."

It wasn't a very complex process, first he pretended to smack her around a bit, then he stood in front of the other camera long enough to make a demand. However he didn't speak, he just stood there for a second or two then pretended to slap her around again. After about three times the little red light on the camera facing Tron went out and Glyde picked up a little phone to started punching in a number.

Suddenly she could hear Teasel shouting out of that speaker system, "Yes, Hello? Hello, hello? Can anybody hear me? Tron is that you? For love or refractors, somebody tell me I'm not talking to myself here!"

"Bawuu?"

"I meant on the phone!"

"Do you get Cable or Satellite?" Glyde said in a scratchy voice.

"Is this a telemarketer? I'm on the no-call list you rotten little bag of--"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you!" Glyde shouted.

"Glllyyyyyyddde…" Teasel muttered in disgust, the word slipping out of his mouth like a worm or a slug. "I should have known it was you."

"But apparently you didn't. So which is it Cable or Satellite? I could overload the whole system and let everybody watch your sister getting her just deserts."

"What! Okay, okay, it's a Satellite, what else are we going to have on an airship, but which channel?"

"Try channel 787, its got a lot of interesting programming," he said pushing a button, hanging up the phone and walking to where the active camera could see him.

Teasel's voice still came over the intercom, "Fire up the TiVo Tron's on TV!"

A duck gave him a thumb up and Glyde was suddenly smiling, and stroking his chin. There wasn't a TV monitor that Glyde could see anything through, just the camera, and several ducks (not to mention Tron) all watching him, but he began with, "My word, you call this an airship? I've seen row boats in better shape than _this_."

"Grrr! Go describe your own home somewhere else!" Teasel shouted. "It doesn't exactly look like you're in a palace yourself?"

Then Glyde gave a smile that meant he clearly knew something that Teasel didn't. "I wouldn't call it a palace, but it's still much better than what she deserves."

"Where's Tron!"

"She's a little tied up at the moment, but I think if you come this way you might catch a glimpse of what life is like for her now." He walked off camera toward Tron, but he didn't bother getting in the shot. The camera hadn't turned on. Suddenly he started laughing, and the sound of him slapping the duck was heard.

"Tron!" Teasel shouted.

"Bawuu!"

Glyde quickly stepped back into the other cameras view. "Well, well, well, trouble in paradise?"

"You monster! Even I wouldn't have thought you'd slap a girl chained to a wall!"

"Tisk-tisk, like I care. However I do care about her ransom, because while she's here she really isn't worth the money it takes to feed her."

"So money is all you want? You think I have money!"

Glyde laughed again. "No, as a matter a fact I know you don't. That's why I'm making it a little more interesting this time. I don't want your money, I just want you to put everything you have in a big pile on the remains of my old base on Calika, and… simply put… throw a match to it."

There was a silence on the intercom, then a clunk and an inquisitive, "Bawuu?"

He walked of camera, long enough to point to one of the birdbots, and Tron's scream was played twice over itself. Teasel moaned into the phone before answering. "Tron is that you? Big Brother is coming, just hold tight. I'm coming as fast as I can little sis so just hold on and before you know it--"

Glyde made like he was reattaching her handkerchief and the little red light facing them glowed again. "Now, now," he said, like the wolf talking to the sheep, "you shouldn't scare your brother like that, you'll make him think we were hurting you."

"Glyde!" Teasel shouted.

He laughed one more, facing Tron as both the little red lights turned off and the sound of him slapping the duck echoed over and over.

At once he removed the handkerchief and threw it on the floor, then releasing her, he again led her by the wrist down the hall. This time they stopped in an open elevator with over two hundred buttons on both sides of the door. He pushed one that had the number 211 printed on it and the lift started. The birdbots were still in the hall, but they knew they weren't invited before the doors closed. Tron quickly noticed that they had been on floor B15 and, all ready, were passing floor 30. Her legs felt like Jello, but she didn't know whether that was because of her throbbing head or the rocketing elevator. They didn't speak. She sat down on the floor and rubbed the protrusion on her head. Glyde snuck the occasional glance at her, but that was probably just him making sure she wasn't pulling a knife out of some unsearched crevasse as much as anything.

The doors swung open to floor two hundred and eleven to reveal a penthouse the likes of which swindlers, like the Bonnes, only dream of (ever since the Gesselcraft was destroyed at least, and especially after Teasel squandered the Kattalox lode). It was a vast living room with a side door to a kitchen, a wide, clean kitchen and other extensions too numeral to mention, not forgetting the view of Port Grace and the sea they had just from the elevator. Glyde strode into the room and opened a drawer in one of the foyer's many lamp stands, and pulled out a new handkerchief. "This is where you will stay for the duration of your captivity," he said stuffing the cloth into his shirt. "It's not much, but considering your scenario I do not doubt you'll have few complaints."

She didn't know what to think, still sitting on the elevator, waiting for him to stop being silly and lead her back to the futon where she could rest. Gathering she wasn't as quick as she usually was, he re-entered the elevator and gave her a hand, to help her up. She had half a mind to shove him out and push one of buttons on the ground floor, but lacking in the capacity to even raise her hand Glyde picked her up by the elbow and impatiently escorted her to a couch facing a gigantic rectangle television. "I suggest you get some rest, I won't be so accommodating if you're still a space case when I come back." And with that he left. Alone again she slept.

Chapter 2: Teasel and Mr. Telephone

A very dazed Teasel and a compassionate Bon were exposed to a short clip of news from the Superia Channel. Seconds before they had watched a grainy feed of the Diabolical Glyde giving Tron the what for. Now an old gentleman was reporting that the mayor of Nino Town was being held in custody for being an idiot and lewd acts with an imported pig. They'd have more on the story when they came back but the two had already heard more than they ever wanted to know. The TV was turned off, the phone was hung up, and the two started running, one floating, out a door and to a control room.

"Darn it Bon, if we don't work fast Tron might not see the end of this, and I'll never forgive myself!"

"Bawuu," Bon said in mutual turn. The floors were not carpeted, the walls were the pale blue of steel that needed painting, and most of the port holes were covered with wax paper. The Starcraft was not anything like the Gesselcraft, and definitely nothing to be proud of. The pair climbed (and/or ascended) a ladder and entered a room filled with Servebots, each trying to keep the ultimate balance of flying the ship as fast as it would go without having it fall to peaces under them. In all truth they had 'borrowed' a few segments of rocket fuel from the recently completed effort to get Megaman back to Terra, and, if they really wanted to, they could be flying faster than a speeding bullet, but they'd also be out of control, indubitably headed for a mountain three times over the horizon that they didn't even know was there until they crashed into it, and that was assuming they didn't just explode like a cherry bomb.

"How long till we reach the Sulfur Bottom?" he demanded.

"Nine thousand six hundred and twenty two seconds?" one of them called out.

"Nine thousand seconds? What are you an atomic clock?"

"Actually…" it began

Teasel balled his fist, "Don't answer that! Just give me a ballpark."

"Erm… roughly a day and nine minutes, give or take a few seconds for wind speed of course."

"Of course," Teasel muttered. "I didn't want to do this Bon, but considering the options I just can't see any other way out. Get me Megaman, on the phone right now." A few of the servebots started running around like mad. Eventually one came in with a phone, and another behind him had the receiver. Teasel snatched it up and cleared his throat. Three rings, four rings, five rings, they must not like picking up the phone. Suddenly a woman's voice came on the phone.

"Yes," it said.

Teasel cleared his throat a little more. "Is this the Volnutt residence?"

"Why yes it is."

"Is Megaman there?"

"I'm sorry he just went out with Roll."

"When do you think they'll be back?"

"I don't think--"

"WAIT A MINUTE! A date? Like a _date_date?"

"I think so."

"Why that little…"

"What?"

"It's nothing!"

"Is this Teasel Bonne?"

"Noooo," he said, his voice dropping an octave or so, and his eyes darting all around the control room trying to find something to change the subject. After an awkward pause he decided against, 'I just wanted to thank him for petting my cat the other day', and blurted out, "He owes me money." Another awkward pause followed; broken eventually by the unconvinced girl's voice assured him she would relay the message.

He handed the phone back to the second servbot with an uncommonly loud sigh of relieve, only to hear a voice on the other end call out, "Hello?" His face suddenly contorted in a manner that made it look so like a monkey he would have screamed to see himself in a mirror.

He grabbed the phone cord and yanked it out of the wall, declaring: "I think we've had enough from Mr. Telephone for one day."

"Who was it Mr. Teasel?" a random servbot asked.

"Oh, nobody, just the cleaning lady…"

"It didn't sound like a cleaning lady, Mr. Teasel," said another.

He balled both his fists and, raising them in the air, bellowed, "Okay it wasn't the cleaning lady! But that's not important! The important thing is that as-we-speak Tron is enduring **_grueling_** **_torture_** and all we can think about is ourselves! Can't this thing go any faster?"

"Bawuu," Bon said sadly.

"That's true," one of the servbots replied, "But I have an idea!"

Teasel, his fists in the air, looking quite mad (meaning crazy, not angry) glared down at him. Usually he had the bright ideas, and even though some of them weren't so bright, the ones that worked always made him feel better. But he was running on empty and when there's nothing inside but spit and vinegar you make sacrifices. He sighed once more, dropping his hands to his sides, and bowing his head. "Yes #20?"

"If we outfitted Bon with a rocket he could make it to the Sulfur Bottom in no time, and I could ride on his back."

Teasel perked up and started stroking the metallic device on his chin. "That might work. And we could have him ready in five minutes… why, he'd be there in ten…"

"Six-hundred and forty-eight seconds to be exact."

Teasel eyed his little compatriot. "We'll do it, and you can light the fuse."

"Me! But! Mr. Teasel… Protocol dictates…"

"Well #20 get started, we don't have all day. I'll be relaxing in my room if anybody needs me."

"Yes Mr. Teasel," they all said as he marched out.

Chapter 3: The Weather is not Important!

Somewhere on the deck of the Sulfur Bottom Megaman and Roll were having a nice picnic of various sandwiches and cold lemonade. It was nice day, a few clouds here and there, a stiff ocean breeze, no pirates. And while it was pleasant enough at first that last one just didn't hold out long enough. Remarkably enough they were talking about pirates, or dancing around the subject of a single pirate as it were, just as Bon could be seen as a speck on the horizon.

"Megaman why don't you tell me how you feel?"

"Roll…" he started, only to see the speck on the horizon, with thick black smoke trailing behind it, rocket ever nearer. "Roll, watch out!" he said, jumping up.

"Like I'm going to fall for that one Megaman," she said folding her arms and fully expecting him to sit back down. Instead in a running dash he bent over, picked her up by the waist and made for the safety of the elevator.

Somewhere over the sea Bon and #20 were screaming like banshees, but, going at least three times the speed of sound, it really wasn't necessary. All the same they seemed rather persistent, and even though, at first, they thought it a spot of good luck to actually be heading for the Sulfur Bottom, as it grew from the tiniest dot in the middle of nowhere, to become almost kamikaze at the speed they were going, they insisted on shouting all the louder.

The only thing Megaman and Roll heard was the thundering crash! Immediately a herd of gorilla-like men with French hats and military rifles started pouring onto the roof. They didn't find much, just a metallic sphere with two swirls revolving on surface, and a crispy, temporarily senseless Servbot. After thoroughly examining two, and deciding against throwing them both overboard the monkey-men allowed Megaman, Roll, Von Bleucher, Matilda and Gramps to investigate the odd pair.

"What is this?" Von Bleucher asked a gorilla, giving the sphere a healthy kick.

"Ba… Bu… wuu…"

"That's Bon Bonne!" Megaman said, amazed. "But what's he doing here?"

"Oh! Then this must be a servbot," Roll said picking up the scorched servitor. She brushed off a little smut and started messing with some controls on his back.

"AAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhh!" it yelled, suddenly coming to.

"What's wrong?"

"Stop-rocket-stop-the-rocket-EEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Its okay," roll said, "We've stopped the rocket."

"Bawuuu?"

"What happened here?" Von Bleucher demanded, suddenly noticing a crater roughly the size of Plymouth Rock.

"I think these two had a rocket strapped onto the big one," Gramps concluded. "They must have accidentally collided with the ship."

"Herump!"

"I don't think this was an accident," Matilda said.

"What?" asked gramps.

"I got a mysterious phone call from an anonymous debt collector who sounded like Teasel Bonne a few minutes ago."

"We're sorry," the servebot began, "But miss Tron's in Trouble…"

"Tron?" Megaman inquired.

"Bawuu!" confirmed Bon, rolling around to face them all.

"What does she have to do with this?" Roll cut in, frowning slightly.

"Glyde kidnapped her," the servbot continued, putting his Lego hand in Roll's, "and we all had to watch him slap her on the ships computer screen."

"He hit her?" Megaman exclaimed jumping over to the little bot and landing on his knees just in front of him.

"Over and over," he wailed.

The all looked at each other. Von Bleucher spoke again. "Where's Mr. Bonne?"

"He's about five hundred miles that way," the servbot said pointing to the horizon.

"And what's he doing out there?"

"He's flying toward us as fast as he can, but the starcraft isn't a very speed efficient ship."

Von Bleucher spoke into his wrist, "Change course, heading north, north-east at full tilt."

A voice came out of his wristwatch, "Yes capt'n."

"We should be there in an hour or so, what did you say your name was?"

"#20."

"An odd name for anything. Is the starcraft small enough to dock in the Bottom?"

"Ummm… I don't know."

"Herump," he said walking over to the crater.

"Did Teasel call a few minutes ago?" Matilda asked.

"Well… Ummm… The thing is… That's not important," the bot said, standing up and holding his fists in the air, "the important thing is that while we're here name-calling, Tron's in pain far and away."

"You wouldn't happen to know where she is do you?" Roll asked.

"That's the problem…"

"…and you thought we could help…" Gramps added.

"No, we thought **he** could help," pointing to Megaman.

"Me?" Megaman objected.

"Mr. Teasel thinks very highly of you, even if he won't say it."

"And why wouldn't he say it?" Matilda posed.

"Because Miss Tron has a--"

"Bawuuu!"

"Oh, right!"

"What was that?" Megaman and Roll chorused.

"What was what?" the servebot said with an air of innocence.

"Hmmm," Matilda said knowingly, "I wasn't expecting a straight answer from him."

"Wait a minute, what does Miss T-… what does Tron have?" Roll said grasping the servebot by his shoulders.

"My! What lovely weather were having today…" the servbot started, but in vain!

"The weather is not IMPORTANT!" Roll snarled at the little machine.

"Babuu!"

"Bon's right, you shouldn't be asking me, you should be asking Mr. Teasel!"

"Grrrrrrr!"

"Roll…"

"What Megaman!"

"I think you should calm down before you hurt yourself…"

She stood up and pointed a finger in his face, mouth open to start breathing fire. But none came. She ran to the elevator and soon disappeared.

"That wasn't very nice you know," Matilda said crossing her arms and glaring at him.

"What did **I **say?"

"Roll's not going to hurt herself over a trivial matter like this you would think…" Gramps imposed.

"But I don't think Megaman is considering her real feelings toward him."

"I would really be more comfortable if you lot would stop talking about my love life right in front of me," he said blushing and scratching the back of his head.

"Don't worry, were not, a-ha-heh!" Gramps said laughing. "I was just saying Rolls a big girl who can look after herself."

"And I was just saying Megaman would do better with Roll than a second rate pickpocket."

Gramps and Megaman both had large sweat drops grow on the side of their face as they started to slowly back away.

"Megaman you can't walk away from love forever!" Matilda said taking a step toward him with that 'start of lecture' tone, and suddenly he found himself running for the elevator with Gramps close besides. "Megaman!" she shouted giving chase.

"Miss Tron might be in more trouble than I thought…" the servebot mused.

"Bawuu…" Bon agreed.

Chapter 4: Why Starcraft went down in Flames

"What do you mean we're too large to board?" Teasel's voice boomed over the static prone radio.

"The Sulfur Bottom can only hold so much in the first place and we're already boarding the Flutter and the Meiji," a worker responded. "Besides your ship is too awkward; you wouldn't fit in the bay doors."

"ALL RIGHT WISEGUY! What do you think we should do?"

"No idea."

"Arrrggghhh!" Teasel said, giving up.

"Were going to have to compromise," Von Bleucher's fine, upstanding and knowing voice flowed over the speaker, "We'll both travel to the Bilkani desert, you'll have to hide your ship in the sand then board. I guess we'll just plan from there."

"The Bilkani desert! I'd rather pay my debts at Kattalox and land there! At least I wouldn't have to dig out when I got back."

"Fine, but do you have the money for something like that."

"Well I thought…"

"No! Even if I had the money to burn! I didn't get where I am today by random acts of charity!"

"Oh, come on! Would you park in the Bilkani desert if you had you're port holes covered with wax paper!"

"WAX PAPER? Are you flying a kite or an airship over there!"

"Sorry, but not all of us were born with a silver spoon in our mouth!"

"WHAT! That's it, now if you **don't** abandon ship in the Bilkani, you can go find Tron yourself!"

"Grrr!"

"Grrr!"

"Fine! Head for the Bilkani desert and step on it!"

"Teasel Bonne!" came a woman's voice.

"Oh-no…" he muttered to himself.

"Teasel Bonne, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear."

"Pardon my infirmities, but last time you called I didn't quite catch how much Megaman owed you."

"Mock all you want but! I mean you can tell him to forget about it. I'm in a generous mood today, so if he agrees to help get Tron back… I'll consider us square."

"A likely answer!"

"Hey! And WHAT exactly is _that_ suppose to mean?"

"Oh, come on! I hint that Megaman is going out with Roll and you have to go into a hissy fit about it!"

"A hissy fit! Do I have to come over there!"

"Oooh! BIG MAN! Gonna' slap me around a but, huh?"

"Listen you, the only girl I know who's getting slapped around, even as we speak, is Tron!"

"Prove it!"

"Why you!"

"Mom," Roll whispered over the sounds of Teasel cursing their very souls via the radio, "don't you think we should trust the servbot for now?"

"I guess you're right sweety, but I'm just looking out for you."

"That's fine but I don't think insulting Tron is the way to Megaman's heart."

"Hello!" Megaman shouted, "I'm right here! Will you people stop acting like I'm invisible?"

Matilda cut in to Teasel's static scrambled ramblings. "You're just jealous because Roll's better for Megaman and you know it."

"Jealous! I think you have a few things mixed up-"

An explosion rocked both ships.

"Mr. Teasel! We're sorry…"

"Whaaat happened here!"

"#13 and #9 were gun-slinging!"

"Gun-slinging! Where!"

"In the storage room. #9 was reading his comics and suddenly he jumped up and told #13 that this ship wasn't big enough for the both of them."

"I guess I got a little carried away…"

"The storage room! You mean the Rocket fuel?"

The servbots suddenly went wide-eyed.

"Did anybody put out the fire?"

The answer came but nobody heard it. A moment's hesitation said more than enough, and before you could say dodge-your-uncle alarms were going off, and everybody was making for the deck.

"What's going on over there?" Von Bleucher hailed over the radio.

Teasel heard the shouting from the deck (he had easily gotten there first) and grabbed #9. "You started this! Now go back down there and tell Von Bleucher that the ship is going to explode, so we're going to have to Jump!"

"Jump," the thirty or so servbots gathered on the deck exclaimed.

"Yes JUMP! Now go do some good!" he finished throwing #9 back into the burning airship.

"But Mr. Teasel!" said #21.

"No buts! Unless you'd rather take your chances in the sea!"

"But what about the Starcraft, and the drachs?"

"There's nothing we can do… This is going to cost us a lot of money! What am I a glutton for punishment!"

"Mr. Teasel," #9 said running back, "they're going to try something!"

"What?"

"I think they're sending over the blueboy!"

"Megaman? What can he do?"

"Teasel Bonne!" came Von Bleucher's voice over a loud speaker. "The flutter will be launching any minute. Try to jump on it!"

"Brother! Here come the heroics…"

The Flutter appeared floating under the Sulfur Bottom and soon they were right along side the Starcraft. Megaman who had been spotting Roll from the roof was the first to jump over, his water pack firmly attached and ready for war!

"You toss the servbots over, I'll see if I can stop the fire."

"Be careful Megaman, we have some rocket fuel down there that at the very mention of it"

Another explosion was heard, and two long cylinders labeled: 'fuel tanks,' blasted out of the side of the Starcraft; soon disappearing over the sea.

"Ohhh-Nooooooo!"

"Megaman," Roll said in his earpiece, "that looks like the missing rocket fuel."

"Missing Rocket fuel?" Megaman asked himself.

Teasel suddenly went very quiet. He realized he had better play this, of all his worries, down, lest it turn on him. He stood there with his mouth open for half a second, before coming to a second realization, and epiphany in fact. With the heavy explosives off the ship there was the smallest chance of saving it! "Okay everybody, we're going to try and save the ship! Everybody who can't operate a fire extinguisher grab what you can and make for the flutter. Everyone else is now an honorary fire fighter. Now Break!"

"Break?" said everybody (including Megaman).

"Grrr, Get GOING!"

The forty yellow heads started running around like busy ants, most of them cluttered the door, and the rest, seeing the pressure at the door tied emergency ropes to various railing and started repelling down the side of the ship, forcing their way through the wax paper. It looked like a crazy scene from some Muppet Movie, but Megaman marched to a different drum. He crawled over the twenty-five (or so) servbots at the door and made like the Dickens for the storage room. Unfortunately he wasn't exactly accustomed to the ship and after going down some stairs and three rights, he ended up in a neatly kept, pink bedroom with a large mirror and piano. After glancing around for half a second (and deciding this wasn't the time to start going through the drawers :P) he ran back down a hall and eventually, after following a herd of random servebots, came to the source of the fire.

The room wasn't extra large in essence, but it was filled to the brim with burning wood, and there was no stopping it with the meager means they had. That is to say it was starting to melt the metal, and that's never a good sign. One of the stranger things was that most of the servebots where more concerned with carrying out what goods they could rather than trying to put the fire out. The two or three that had grabbed fire extinguishers only put out fires on top of thing that look valuable, and only long enough for another servbot to lug it out of there and down the hall. Whenever Megaman stopped they just begged him for another minute, but after five he was out of water.

"Run away!" cried one when the roof finally started to sag, and to spite his valiant efforts running was the only half chance of survival. About five Servbots nearly carried him to the dock and threw him in the last drache that took off just as the ship hit the waves. He looked out the window long enough to see Teasel shaking on the top of the Flutter with the piano at hand. He couldn't tell whether he was laughing or crying. It had been a long day, and it was only 2 in the afternoon. Exhausted and coughing out a little smoke every now and then he reclined as much as one could in a drache (he was much bigger than a servbot, and still a lot taller than Tron) and slipped into unconsciousness.

Chapter 5: Two Crazies

"Megaman… ? Megaman!"

"Don't worry, he'll be alright."

"Yeah, well if you're not too busy doing absolutely nothing you might help me carrying him to sick bay!"

"Too busy doing absolutely nothing? My ship just sank beneath the waves like so much twisted burning metal that had no better use than be thrown out for the tide! I'm lamenting!"

"We'll help you carry him!" said a small voice.

"At least they're helpful."

"Where's the sick bay Miss Roll?"

"Oh, how cute! It called me Miss! Ohhh, what's your name little… boy-like, thingy?"

"I'm #40"

"Well you are just so cute, I just have to…"

Around this point Megaman opened his eyes to see Roll squeezing the mechanical eyes out of a random servbot. But this was no ordinary random servbot. This was #40, otherwise known as dirty magazine boy! Those of you who happen to be boys, and also happen to have aunts, may know what its like to be embraced by a woman before you quite know what is what. The usual course is, 'okay, that's enough, for the love of mercy woman, five more seconds and I'm going queer!' Whereas Roll was not related whatsoever, and the servbot was enjoying the hug in a manner most unbecoming of a gentleman. One would have thought his mouth always looked like a three on its side…

After bearing as much as he could, Megaman called out, "Roll," coughing up a little in the process.

"Megaman," she cried running over to him.

He got up before she reached him, the servbot left on his back with its tongue sticking out. "Get up #40!" Teasel whispered as loud and angry as he could manage (without being overheard).

"I'm all right, I just need some water."

"No, you have to go to the sick bay, you were in that burning room for almost five minutes Megaman! You might have had some help if Mr. Pirate and his merry men here weren't busy looting their own ship-" Teasel cleared his throat, "-Yesss?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," he said with just enough sarcasm to get away with it.

"Where are we?"

"We're in the bay to the Sulfur Bottom, here, I'll help you to the medi-bay, you can get some water there."

"You can lead the way, I'll help him walk." Roll made some snake eyes, but consented. On the way to the Medibay Teasel grabbed his chance to talk as alone with Megaman as he was probably going to get. "Megaman, I'm sorry I couldn't help you back there, but the servebots just weren't cooperating." Roll snorted. "I know I look bad right now, but if you could find it in your heart to forgive me I know Tron could really use your help right now."

"What happened to Tron anyway?" he grunted.

"She got kidnapped by Glyde while we were… having a picnic on Kattalox." Megaman snorted. "Hey, if you already knew how the story went then why did you ask? In any case the first thing we need to do is find her."

"By the way Teasel, I've been meaning to ask you… What does Tron have for Megaman?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well #20 was telling us how you thought a lot of Megaman, but you wouldn't say so because Tron had something for Megaman, but Bon had to go and object so he wouldn't tell us."

"Oh, that's just #20, he's always saying things…"

"Yeah, but this didn't look like your run of the mill gossip."

"I'm just saying you have to ask Tron, and even then it's a long shot you'll get the answer your looking for, wink, wink, if you know what I mean."

"But that's what the servbot said…" Roll sighed as she opened a door and led them into a clean white room with a doctor and a nurse waving their hands as they talked about the weather on Calinka this time of year. Roll approached and the Doctor turned and asked, "Woah! What happened here?" Roll started to answer but he cut here off. "Well it doesn't look to good, but it doesn't look to bad either. I can fix this for 2000 zenny."

"Two-thousand zenny!" Teasel reiterated. "You mean we have to pay?"

"I only have five zenny off hand, can't you just tell Von Bleucher to pay you back?"

"1995 zenny left, anytime you need a medical practor, make sure you have enough refractor."

"Good gravy he's insane!" Teasel said backing up toward the door, and dragging Megaman with him.

"Who-Hash, you just don't know how to socialize, that's how everybody speaks in town," Megaman insisted. "I have 1995 zenny."

"Good as new I see, when in need come see me."

"Ahhh, that hit the spot."

Teasel dropped Megaman, who caught himself before falling an inch. "You're both mad, nothing happened! You didn't give him any money and he didn't touch you!"

"Roll do you want to take this one?"

"Sure! You see it's magic!"

Teasel glared at her open mouthed, wide-eyed, waiting for her to finish, or keep talking or **anything**. But after a pause he just said, "Oh, Maaa-gick!" so that he didn't look stupid. It didn't work. Megaman walked out the door, and Roll started for it, but Teasel had to see something for himself. He walked over to the Doctor who promptly told him there was nothing more he could do for him. Teasel looked on in grim amazement, and the Doctor told him again that there was nothing he could do for him, just like the first time. But the third time the Doctor started in monotone and Teasel reached out, grabbed his nose and said, "Honk, honk," squeezing it twice.

The Doctor looked at him like a moron for moment. Then, taking a deep breath, said "coughyou're-a-moron!cough"

Teasel walked out laughing…

Chapter 6: Old Women

They were just about to make their way to Von Bleucher's office where they would plan the next step but by no relevant coincidence they passed a drinking fountain and healed as he was Megaman still needed the drink. Those few who survive blazing infernos have quite a thirst, and by chance Matilda had just come looking for Roll and he, just as Teasel walked up behind them. It was like High Noon in the Old West, they both wanted Megaman, one for an assist, the other for his assets, and he was just caught in the middle. Most unluckily Megaman didn't see the two until he had finished his drink and it was to late to run (roll was guarding the only other door) and so it began.

"Teasel Bonne…"

"Matilda… whatever your name its…"

"We meet at last… again…"

"Ummm…"

"You stay out of this, Megaman!" Matilda shouted.

"Is that how you treat your friends? I'm glad I'm an enemy!"

"That's a rapist's wit you have there, old man!"

"Old man? I'm younger than you I bet, Old woman!"

"Yeah, right!"

"Twenty nine!" Teasel continued. Matilda went suddenly store off into space. "Well!"

She came back to earth, (or Terra), made a fist, and shouted, "Twenty four!"

"WHAT!"

Roll's brows furrowed. "Mom," she whispered, "If you're only twenty four that would mean you had mean when you were… Eight! … eep! "

"Woooaaahhh!" Megaman said backing up toward Teasel.

"No wait, I was frozen on Forbidden Island for fifteen years, so that doesn't count."

"A-hah!" Teasel gloated. "I knew it couldn't be possible, just look at those circles."

"What circles!"

"Under the eyes, oh ancient one! Lets see, twenty-four plus fifteen equals… Thirty nine?"

"Say that again and you wont live to regret it…"

"Just as long as we now understand who's the old woman here…"

"Entirely besides the point!" she said grabbing Megaman by the shoulders and dragging him to her side like a hostage situation. "Megaman's going with Roll, as long as we understand that we can do business."

"Like the devil Megaman's going with Roll! Megaman is old enough to make his own decisions."

"No he's not!" Roll said helping her mother against the struggling Megaman, "He needs a woman's caress when he comes back from work every day, and I've been there everyday so far so he's mine!"

Teasel grabbed his legs and started pulling. "I'll have you know that Tron could be there twice as often, twice as sweet, and never have to complain about who's been there for what."

"Let him go!"

"No, you let him go!"

Matilda, who until this point had been conveniently holding Megaman's mouth shut, now grabbed Megaman's shoulder with both hands, as Roll grabbed the other, and pulled with all her might. "Merciful Heaven's!" Megaman shouted in all the commotion. Luckily Megaman was wearing his pressurized armor, and pull as they might he was as coiled as a rope. However the two parties, tugging as hard as they could, weren't concentrating on where they were pulling but how hard, so Megaman gave Teasel a wink and when they were facing the right way he shouted, "Now!"

"Okay, have him!" Teasel said letting go.

They crashed through the little door on the side of the hall and ended up in a random bedroom. Most unfortunate for Megaman they crashed through with his head. While he was lying there a little . if you know what I mean, Teasel tried to grab his hand and run, but Matilda and Roll were quicker than that. It's hard to say exactly what happened, with all the dust and derbies flying everywhere but by the time Von Bleucher and Gramps walked in Roll was putting Megaman on the bed, and Teasel was holding Matilda in a head grip, shouting "Noogie, noogie, noogie!" Need I even say what he was doing?

Von Bleucher spoke first. "What is this fighting all about, will someone tear these two apart; this is an airship, not a circus. Now come on ladies, settle down… I run a business of repute, I am the mayor of this town. I look to you to sort this out, to be a patient as you can."

"Can someone say how this began?" Gramps asked.

"Must you quote Les Miserables?" Teasel said letting go.

Matilda gave him a stiff elbow to the gut and stood up, pulling her loose hair back. "We were just having a civil discussion about Megaman."

"I shudder to think what this room would look like if it was any less civil," Von Bleucher noted.

"Good going you two!" Roll scowled. "Now we have to take Megaman back to sick bay."

"You haven't been giving that quack any money have you? On my ship friends get free healthcare."

"Does that mean me?" Teasel choked out, holding his gut.

Von Bleucher looked him over. "Why not? I'm crazy."

"Gooooood" Teasel said keeling over.

Chapter 7: Plan for the worst

The office was stuffed to capacity. While the twenty by twenty executive retainer very easily held the five assorted members of the Casket, Volnutt and Von Bleucher families, Teasel, Bon and 39 or so servbots later it was significantly less comfortable.

"What's going on in here, where's # 29?"

"He was busy chasing the rats out of the kitchen…."

"What!" he shouted picking up the random servbot and glaring at it.

"He said s-something like that Mr. Teasel."

"Aaaa!"

"Roll!" Megaman shouted, "What's wrong?"

"I think one of the servbots just grabbed my… leg…"

"That would be #40…" Teasel muttered, almost too embarrassed to speak.

"Well tell you're things not to touch me…"

"#40 get over here!" Teasel shouted.

"Yes, Mr. Teasel?"

"What exactly do you think you're doing? Do you want Von Bleucher to throw you off the ship!"

"No, Mr. Teasel… Where is Mr. Von Bleucher anyway?"

A muffled cry came from a mass of brown that a bunch of servbots were using as a bench.

"GET OFF OUR RIDE!" Teasel shouted, so nigh unto flipping his lid the servbots were jumping on top of each other to get out of the way.

"Thank you," a disgruntled looking Von Bleucher said to the little numbskulls as he climbed back to his feet.

"Okay everybody with two brain points or less go wait in the hall!"

"But Mr. Teasel, we want to hear!" #19 objected.

"Yeah, why can't everybody stay?" #38 added.

"BECAUSE I CAN'T BREATH! IS THAT A GOOD ENOUGH ANWSER FOR YOU OR DO I HAVE TO GET ANGRY!"

"No don't do that!"

"Were sorry!"

"Babuuu…" Bon said leading the congregation out the door.

"Bon GET BACK IN HERE!"

"Bawuba?"

"I know you don't have three brain points yet, but you're family."

"You hear that," one servbot whispered to the other on his way out, "Mr. Teasel doesn't think we're family…"

sniff "I guess we aren't worthy…" sob

"Awww, can't we meet on the deck?" Matilda objected. "There's plenty of room up there for all the little guys…"

"The deck doesn't have a monitor, and we were all going to go over the Video the Bonnes had provided."

"Okay, everybody come on back… (and tell that good for nothing #29 to get his rear in gear, he can chase those mice later)."

"Yay!" the banished said as a group, flooding the office once again, sucking on the air with their little pie holes, pushing everybody who wasn't sitting on the desk aside.

"We could always meet in the Press room," Von Bleucher said kissing the wall.

"Brillant!" Teasel said, clinging to a lamp for dear life.

"Well this was definitely a good idea," Megaman said sitting on the speakers platform in the press room.

"Too bad it came after the deluge," Matilda said massaging her foot.

"Mom, don't do that! Let Megaman rub your foot for you…"

"Say WHAT!" Megaman and Teasel wheezed out at the same time.

"Just Kidding Megaman," Roll said with a not-very-convincing laugh.

"Megaman," Teasel whispered, "is she always like this?"

"No," he whispered back, "only when you're around."

"… I can take a hint…"

"I'm serious!"

"Megaman, what are you two whispering about over there?"

"Nothing, Gramps…"

"Everybody!" Von Bleucher boomed over the pulpit, trying to get the servbots to shut up, "Please! Everybody!"

"Hey!" Teasel shouted. The room fell silent. "Thaaat's BETTER!"

"Thank you…"

"Don't mention it!"

"Now that I have your attention I'd like to call this meeting to order. May I remind you all that this is conference room not a…" a paper airplane came floating by, "Who threw that?" Utter silence prevailed. "We go now to the recording of Tron's imprisonment," he growled, "Viewer discretion is advised…" Suddenly the shutters closed, a couple of rows of TVs came on and dozens of Glydes were smirking into the camera.

"My word, you call this an airship? I've seen row boats in better shape than _this_."

The servbots started booing and throwing paper balls at the various screens.

"I wouldn't call it a palace, but it's still much better than what she deserves… She's a little tied up at the moment, but I think if you've come this way you might catch a glimpse of what life is like for her now…" the Glyde walked off screen and reappeared next to the retained Tron, giving here a touch of his 'tough love.' Megaman stood up when he saw the rough interaction, Matilda gasped, and Roll got a small twinkle in her eye. "Well, well, well, trouble in paradise?" he asked walking back into the other camera angle.

"Tisk-tisk, like I care. However I do care about her ransom, because while she's here she really isn't worth the money it takes to feed her…" Here Glyde laughed. "No, as a matter a fact I know you don't. That's why I'm making it a little more interesting this time. I don't want your money, I just want you to put everything you have in a big pile on the remains of my old base on Calika, and… simply put… throw a match to it."

The non-Bonne section of room snorted, and Roll actually broke out laughing, even though the better part of the room scorned her for it.

Glyde walked of camera and Tron screamed. A second later and it looked like he was reattaching her handkerchief. "Now, now," he said, like the wolf talking to the sheep, "you shouldn't scare your brother like that, you'll make him think we were hurting you." He laughed one more, facing Tron as the sound of him slapping her echoed through the airwaves…

Suddenly the picture was cut off, and replaced by that old gentleman reporting once again that the Mayor of Nino Town was being held in custody for being an idiot and lewd acts with a pig. Almost instantaneously the TVs were shut off, the shutters flung open and Von Bleucher was standing at the podium again.

"As I can now see we are in a state of utmost need for information and speed. Might I add here that some of us would be wise to contain our emotions when they can be interpreted so offensively…"

"Are you referring to me?" Roll asked in an innocent voice. Teasel's face was beet red.

"Yes he was referring to you!" Matilda exclaimed. "Roll! How can you be so thoughtless?"

"I'm not! Turn the video back on and slow it down."

"What!" Teasel exploded, jumping up.

"Just do it, okay."

"Do as she says," Von Bleucher said, to no one apparently. Once again, and just as suddenly the shutters slammed shut, the TVs turned on and Glyde was once more standing there with a smirk on his face.

"No, no, fast forward to the part where he slaps her and slow it down." The tape sped up and slowed down just as he began to throw his arm. The whole room gasped. "I knew it, I can see through spotty CG any day of the week."

"But… But… But…" mumbled Teasel.

"BABU!"

"Why!"

"I don't know," Roll mused, "I can only imagine that he wanted us to think he was hurting her, so…"

"So we'll do what he says…" Teasel finished for her.

"But what does it matter to Glyde if she actually gets a slap in the face or two?" Megaman asked.

"I can only imagine that he developed some sort of a thing for her when we were last working together during the Master War," Teasel growled, putting two and two together faster than his little front lobe could handle. "AND THAT MEANS HE HAS NO INTENTION OF GIVING HER BACK AT ALL!"

"Maybe, but I think it's more than that…" Roll said in deep thought… she snapped her fingers. "I've got it! Now stick with me on this one… But if Teasel and Bon were so afraid that he was going to hurt her that they did exactly what he said, wouldn't it make sense for them to find out that Tron was never in any danger at all?"

"Why! Mr. Teasel would pull out his hair if that happened!" #38 observed.

"Not only would it add insult to injury, but you'd get Tron back, and then he'd just walk away laughing, because how could you overcome a roadblock like that?" Roll mused.

"Why is this Glyde person so mad at you anyway?" Professor Barrel asked.

Teasel and Bon's brow suddenly had large sweat drops rolling down them, and that was quite a feat for MetalMan Bon.

"Didn't you guys blow him up when we last fought on the railroad tracks near--"

"I-I don't know w-wa-what you're t-t, T-t-t, t-talking about!" Teasel stammered, putting his hands over his ears and shouting, "La-la-la-la-la!"

"Bawuu?" Bon asked, playing innocent.

"I see," Von Bleucher snickered. "All the same, that makes this mission a little less difficult. Now where do you think we should look first for our delicate delinquent?"

"I know this girl named Shu who lives on Calinka," Megaman said. "She was kidnapped by Glyde for mistaking a Birdbot as a chicken and trying to eat it. However I busted her out of there before any harm was done… to her, I mean; the base was destroyed." Here Teasel nudged Bon, Matilda nudged Roll and Megaman shined his fingernails up on the front of his armor. "In any case, I saved her, but she got a good look at the inside workings of his operation. Plus it was his home base, maybe he still has some land on the island."

"I like how the boy thinks," Gramps said.

"Project a course for Calinka Island and FULL SPEED AHEAD!" Von Bleucher roared. Consequently the entire room broke out into cheers.

"Good going Megaman," Roll said giving him a big hug, and trying to plant one on his cheek.

"HEY HEY!" Teasel complained, as the ship jolted toward the immediate west…

Chapter 8: Framed for Fooling Around

NEXT TIME ON THE DIABOLICAL GLYDE:

The mayor we've been so disgusted by, wasn't as disgusting he was framed! For being an idiot. There are still questions about him and that imported pig, and that's just sick and wrong, let me tell you, but the word is (Shu says) he has some dirt on glyde. What ever will they do?

MWA-HA-HA-Ha hee hee hee hee hee…

Blah!


End file.
